Sadness

Less than a week and two funerals. The first one was of the grandfather of a good friend of mine and a colleague from work. The other one, was of the father of my boss, who I also consider a friend, and his brother, who works with us both. No an easy thing to do, go to funerals. People are crying, sad, desolated, hopeless, and I feel uncomfortable an lost. I simply don't know what to say. "Be strong", "tomorrow's another day", "Life goes on". I line up a lot of cliches and shoot them all at the mourning family.

Maybe that's because I don't recall very well of my own loving ones departures. My two grandfathers went when I was too young to understand the meaning of death. Of course I got sad, but I couldn't rationalize. When my grandmother - mother of my mother - died, it was quite different. I don't remember details of the funeral, or the burial, but the sadness of my mother is really vivid in my memories. She can't deal nice with death. Well, I guess no one does. But some keep living.

Somehow it's harder, I guess - I've never been dead, at least for as long as I can remember - for the ones who stay. They gotta do these mundane things, these day to day stuff that keeps the wheels in motion while the people they loved are dead and buried. Sad, but we will all go through this one day or another.

This may sound kinda egotistic, but it's just the opposite. I hope I die after my wife, my parents, my closest friends. I prefer to suffer than to make then suffer.

Sorry, my good readers, but I'm feeling sad today.

[Ouvindo: Somebody To Love - Queen + George Michael - Greatest Hits III (Queen)]